letter to 2018- to the people, the things, and all the experiences that came and went and changed me forever.

OKAY LET’S JUST GET REALLY REAL HERE,

2018 was a weird, weird year for me and it deserves an entire post honestly because I cannot be the only one.

I  feel like I owe this to myself really to reflect on how insane this year was for me and I’m sharing because I know someone out there needs to hear it.

I feel like I’ve aged 123727462738 years and also changed SO much PHYSICALLY, emotionally, mentally and all around I am so different.

Am I the only one?! Or was 2018 a year for SERIOUS growth?

Evolvement if you will…

The best part about it all is it’s fucking AMAZING.

I’ve never felt so unapologetically myself and just doing MY thing on MY terms all. the. time.

This is also a goodbye letter to 2018- to the people, the things, and all the experiences that came and went and changed me forever. It’s all love. I’m so grateful.

So what happened?!

For starters,

I realized very quick that I RARELY ever used to do anything that made me happy.

Weird right? Weren’t expecting that?

ALL TRUTH (not holding back here sorry) !!

Let me rewind and elaborate.

Before 2018 I would just do things I felt I was supposed to do.

I felt I was supposed to gym everyday  & in a certain manner, supposed to church every Sunday, supposed to never party, supposed to hang out with just my boyfriend and never anyone else, supposed to never cuss, supposed to dress a certain way & the list goes on and it’s really all dumb stuff to me now like really?

As a result of meeting the right humans and also the wrong ones (LOL) in 2018 while also being brave enough to try other things I was able to become a PERFECT EXAMPLE of taking off this mask I was behind for so long and living a life I wanted.

I realized no, I don’t have to blog about fitness and health and eating the right things all the time. YAWN YAWN YAWWWWNNNNN. No, actually there is much more to life in order to be healthy not just physically but MENTALLY.

Sure, physically I was very healthy-

img_9483

but MENTALLY?!? ^^^ This girl, I, had no idea what the fuck I was doing. I had no idea what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, who I wanted to hang out with, the kind of person I was becoming was just _____ ??? I really don’t know.

When I visioned my future I really could not see nor explain what I wanted.

So in this state of mind I hopped onto anything.

Quick example , HERBALIFE.

You’ve heard of it , I’m sure.

If not, Herbalife is a supplement & network marketing company. Ya know, get really rich by getting as many people on board as quickly as you can kinda thing while also getting into the best shape of your life. Cute, right?

Going backwards a bit, I really love Herbalife products SO MUCH, don’t get me wrong. They are the best I’ve ever had so far if we are being real and I’ve never been fake on here or ever to anyone about Herbalife.

However, PERSONALLY I was not ready to make my entire life all about the Herbalife business when I already didn’t know who I am and what my life is about. Are you following me? Hope so.

In order to do the Herbalife business, IM BEING SOOO REAL GUYS, you have to dedicate you’re entire LIFE to ONE brand.

eat, sleep, breathe HERBALIFE.

ONE BRAND!!

That scared the living shit out of me because HELLO I LIKE A LOT OF BRANDS. There are a ton of good foods and supplements out there and heck I can even make my own too? I hate feeling limited or trapped.

I simply wasn’t ready and I had a hard time saying NO to things till now.

So during 2018 I started saying NO to things I wanted to say NO to. And tried to feel no guilt about it! It’s LIBERATING REALLY!

I stopped Herbalife, I stopped working at a gym, I stopped working out ALL THE TIME, I stopped listening to people I didn’t want to trade lives with and ultimately I gave myself time to breathe and connect with the person I wanted to be.

Thus,

Me.

Shmanders.

Amanda.

Was reborn… 😉

I’ve decided it’s OK to have balance in every aspect. I’ve stopped listening to the voices in my head telling me “ooh that’s not what you’re supposed to do” ” this person is not going to be happy about that” “you’re going to regret that later” “you are going to hell” and especially caring what other people think- that shit is tricky.

As a result?

I let go of friends that don’t really care about me or my time.

I started to date the most awesome man who brings endless opportunities to my life & pushes me out of my comfort zone daily while challenging me to be the best person I can be FOR ME, my future kids and for him. ( would have never met him living in my old “supposed to” ways and that seriously freaks me out ).

I’m now living in an area that brings exciting new ideas, people, and experiences weekly!

And as of very recently I’m evolving in ways I never knew I needed, I’m forgiving and letting go of things that have happened in my past to make room for the amazing things to come in the future. Ahhhh.

I’ve never been more excited about waking up everyday and I’m not sure everyone else feels this way so I needed to express how important it is to make sure you are REALLY being honest with yourself.

Just because it feels like you’re supposed to live a certain way doesn’t mean that’s how you’re meant to live your own and if you feel that way I really suggest taking the first step out of your comfort zone. ❤

I thank you soooo much for reading this and supporting my thoughts! You are loved and you are light.

I’m very excited for 2019 and to share more.

Happy Christmas and New Year ❄️✨💕

xx,

shmanderss

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